no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
