doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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