Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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