do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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