I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize