farters have to be the big spoon...
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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