He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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