You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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