he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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