don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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