My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
