I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
