So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
