Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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