The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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