Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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