just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
