What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
