Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
