i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
