I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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