Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
