better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
