no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
