This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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