Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize