The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
