You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I think your dad took our porno
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
