On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
then he tried to convert me to islam
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
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