Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
