yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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