I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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