Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
