so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
