I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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