You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Ketchup is God's man juice
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
