I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
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