I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize