i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
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