If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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