I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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