Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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