oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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