I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
