oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
