i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
