She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
