You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
My dick has a subreddit
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
