Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I smell like Dick and happiness
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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