you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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