But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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