If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
