I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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