There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
