What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
