luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
