I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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