I cannot find my penis.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
