I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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