4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
