i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
