This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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