Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
