This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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