don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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