he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize