That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
