I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
