these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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